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Thursday, April 8, 2021

The Hamster Wheel

 This year has been a hamster wheel. An asterisk. A toss-up.  Now that we are a year into the pandemic, many are vaccinated and starting to re-enter society; thought-pieces abound about seeing the silver lining, recognizing the many blessings that go unnoticed, appreciating family, home, the small things. I associate with all of it. 

But today, I'm writing to procrastinate. To feel useful. To send a message out there into the world of moms in medicine asking if you feel the same or for any words of wisdom. There was so much give and take this year, but I feel like the world kept taking and I have little left to give. Between spotty childcare, the disaster that is virtual learning, and trying to be a useful and productive fellow entering a job market that is abysmal, I feel like I have loose ends at every turn. Laundry undone, projects have finished, articles partly read, emails never sent. I gave myself permission to take a full 2 week spring break- no shifts, no teaching responsibilities, nothing-  the first real vacation in a while, as during residency traveling was hard, there was always more to study,  and I had saved up vacation for maternity leave. 

Maybe this is just post vacation blues, but the feeling of so many mountains to overcome is overwhelming. I plan to just chip away at all the responsibilities one thing at a time. Prioritizing work this week, home life the next. I'll take any tips you have.  


1 comment:

  1. I’m commenting on this months later because image of the hamster wheel has really stuck with me. I’m sorry I didn’t send you hugs sooner - I’m hoping you enjoyed your break and were able to take some time to “fill your cup”. I definitely get the hamster wheel thing - seems lately we’ve been stuck in a get kids going - daycare - work - dinner - dishes - bedtime - repeat cycle and I can’t really even blame covid. I think you’re doing it right. You can only really do one thing at a time, and sometimes that one thing has to be prioritize self care (easier said than done) and sometimes the winter boots are still needing to be put away in July (oops) but the kids are fed and safe and loved and that’s what we’re going with.

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