Monday, January 21, 2019

Looking how to complete the medical equivalent of #squadgoals

As a resident, I rotate through a number of different departments and different hospital sites. This past month (or last month, because I'm late on posting this), I rotated through the trauma service.

On a string of nights, I met another strong, powerful, kick butt mother in medicine. A senior surgery resident on another surgical service, she was not my direct senior; but as we both set up headquarters in the trauma bay, we had the work equivalent of an all night sleepover, q3, for about 2 weeks.

It was so much fun. Being a resident who is also a mom is pretty lonely at times. I'm not free for most brunches, I don't party on weekends, I can't commit to an 8 pm weekly spin class. While I get along with most people on shift,  it has been difficult to connect out of work- with both men an women residents alike.

How do you bridge that gap? Part of me likes having that separation of work life and home life. But  recently, when a resident - who I always laugh with on shift and love working with- got married, it stung that I wasn't invited.  I offered to cover her call, though.

So I will continue to look out for members of the club. Give a head nod to the pregnant resident on the admitting team, look out for the one with pictures of her kids on her phone background. It's nice to be recognized and it's nice to be part of a larger team.


  1. I totally relate to this. I love my coresidents, but it still feels weird to facetime my son in the morning at 0630 waiting for signout in a big, crowded work room -- just to have someone after be like "oh, you have a kid? Wow, that sounds hard." It's so fun and lovely connecting with nurses about it, though. That's been a surprising and super fun thing.

    1. Facetime with your child!!! Programs won't ever become family-friendly if folks with kids (like us) don't represent! And when another resident says something like "wow that sounds hard" say something kick-a$$ like "yup, it is and it has helped me be the doctor I am today. I can really relate with our patients".

      @ the nurses - right!?! And respiratory therapists too. Some of my best friends throughout residency were the nurses and RTs.

    2. I totally agree with the nurses statement. I am definitely closer with them and connect with them as well!
      Mommabee- I have been practicing that line over and over. I can't wait to get up the gumption to use it in person.

  2. Invest in friendships with other residents!!! It's worth it! 2 of my best girlfriends from residency are still 2 of my dearest friends. We had some ups and downs - an awkward moment where one of them got Chief Resident but didn't share with us even though I really wanted to be Chief. We talked about it, cried about it, and got over it and 4 years later the friendships are stronger than ever.

    So about that Resident you laugh with who got married and you weren't invited. Use that as a call-to-action to invite her out for brunch, coffee, tea OUTSIDE OF WORK at least once a season! Weddings are for the family and she probably didn't even think about it. Make her a real friend by cementing your out of work relationship! And don't ever ever ever mention not being invited hurt your feelings :-)

  3. I wonder if your GME department could host networking opportunities for resident parents to meet each other, could form babysitting co-ops etc.

    1. That's a great idea. I am going to look into it. Thanks!


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