June is here... that time of year when the weather is finally consistently warm, the sun is out until after dinner, the grass is green and the trees are lush, and... "the end is near." What I mean by that is, that for my entire life, I have been a student/resident/fellow working on a year that starts in July (or September, back in the good old days) and ends in June.
1st-12th grade, June=summer fun, hooray!
College years, June=finals are over, I can finally breathe for a couple of weeks before taking on whatever pre-med torture I had decided to inflict upon myself that summer
Med school, 1st year, June=I can't believe I finished the first year of med school! I better soak in this very last summer I will ever enjoy as an extended break
Med school, 2nd year, June=Whoa... you mean I won't come back to the classroom? I'll just be out on the wards? (fear, panic, elatedness)
Med school, 3rd year, June=I better decide on a specialty and apply to residency!
Med school, 4th year, June=med school is done, graduation is over, residency is beginning soon. "I can't believe I am finally a doctor..."
Each year of residency, June=I'm almost done with another year. This is insane!
Fellowship, June=in a month I'll be an attending. This is all kinds of emotions, from happiness to panic to despair and back to happiness. I really cannot.believe.it.
As I reflect on the past and my extended schooling, I am happy with the decisions I've made. I am happy I picked my specialty choice. I am glad I matched into my residency and my fellowship (although the start of it was rough!) I am grateful for the experiences I've had, and for the knowledge that I've been fortunate enough to attain. I am scared for the future but am looking forward to it.
This is bigger than a chapter ending. It's the end of a book! But the book is in a series. The next book is starting, and it will be filled with just as much fun/excitement/joy/sadness/fear/etc that the previous book entailed.
I will be sure to keep you all posted about my new journey!