Disclaimer #1: most days aren't like the one I'll be talking about but few are as noteworthy as the past couple days that I feel compelled to share.
Disclaimer #2: most days really aren't that bad and as my little C has adjusted to pre-school and I've been somewhat juggling this whole residency, husband on the east coast doing fellowship and raising a daughter and our toy poodle (did I mention I also am crazy enough to add a dog into the mix?-- but of course, the dog did happen before the baby so I am not that crazy right?) okay. I have my good days and my bad days.
But I think I may have just experienced the worst one yet!
I'm from California so please forgive me when I complain about the weather for those who experience much worse! But we have been experiencing the hottest summer ever! I've lived in California all my life and I've lived in the city where I'm doing residency since 2003! (Yes, I am one of those people that has done undergraduate, medical school and residency all at the same institution!)
The past couple days my little C has not been sleeping well due to the heat. We don't have central AC at our place but we do have a portable one but due to the usually pretty awesome weather we are used to experiencing we do not need to use it very often. However, we've been experiencing weather in the triple digits with unusual humidity so it's been a very uncomfortable situation.
So bad actually that I moved us all out to the living room where the portable AC is located and the 3 of us, me, little C and our toy poodle have been "camping." On top of this, my little C is in the midst of potty training. She's been doing a great job with #1 but #2 not so much. She has a huge fear of pooping on the toilet but she's been holding it in until she comes home from school and I put her in a pull-up. After 4 days of not pooping, I was very worried. I spent all evening yesterday trying to get her to poop---ranging from pear juice, green smoothies and grapes and finally, she did it! I was feeling pretty great until then my dog P decided to go diarrhea everywhere. I still don't know the cause of the diarrhea but either way, pretty darn gross!
It seemed like she was done after we took her outside and let her do her business some more so we went back in. I gave little C a bath. I gave P a bath. And then as I'm giving myself a shower, of course with both of them staring at me, P decided to go diarrhea again! I run out of the shower, clean up the mess and P.
As I'm putting little C to bed, I touch my hair and notice that there is still shampoo in my hair. Great. I fall asleep too tired to notice. But of course, I wake up intermittently all night worried about P making another accident. I thought I was smart by keeping her in a secluded area so if she did make a mistake, I would be able to find it.
I wake up and I find P on our couch. She escaped. I search the house frantically but luckily, I found only 1 small mistake. As I clean that up, of course, little C wakes up and I have to get her ready for school and get myself ready for work as well.
We're also potty training so I put her on potty and she goes! yay! (minor victories...) I make her breakfast of grilled cheese. She screams and yells she wants bagels. Usually I comply but this morning, I just couldn't. Lo and behold, she eventually finished the grilled cheese.
I give P another bath to wash her up and notice that the hair around her butt area keeps getting soiled when she goes diarrhea so I said screw it, I'm just going to cut it off. I find a pair of scissors and while little C stares at me, I start trimming my dog's butt hair. I sat there and could not believe what I was doing. As I disinfected the scissors, I cut myself in the process. Great!
We're about to leave and I decided to get rid of P's dog food. Great again. I notice that the heat has made the ants find refuge in P's dog food. I find a trail of ants. I panic and then of course, I had to kill the army of ants in P's food.
Okay at this point, I am just super late. I'm done. Oh shoot, I notice that little C is still in pull-ups. I try to get her in underwear but then all hell breaks loose. She just started wearing underwear all day at school. She loses it and refuses to wear underwear. I'm about to lose it too. I let her wear pull-ups.
We finally make it out of the house but oh no, we forgot blue doggy (she has to bring to him to school!). I run upstairs and grab blue doggy and we finally make it to school. I tell her teacher about the pull-up situation and her teacher says that's fine. I yell thank you and run out the door.
I finally made it to the hospital. I park. I lose it. I cry and laugh at the same time in my car. I wished someone could have filmed us this morning. The meaning of a chicken running with his head cut off has a whole new meaning.
I calm down. I walk in. I open up my work list. I check my e-mail. My attending has sent back edits on my abstract. I submit it. I start dictating my studies.
If only anyone else knew about the morning I just had...
I felt compelled to share this day in particularly because in the light of social media, people see snippets into our lives not the full picture. I get asked constantly how I balance it all and make it look so easy. I wanted to share the truth. It is not easy. I'm a hot mess majority of the time. But that's life. That's motherhood. That's residency. It's the life I choose and I wouldn't have it any other way! (most of the time anyways! I did have my moments of doubt this morning)