Thursday, August 27, 2015

The End of Summer

When I was a little girl, the last few weeks of the summer were filled with mixed emotions. It was still summer vacation but I knew that fall and school were looming around the corner.

In some ways, I feel like that little girl except now I am a mother and instead of summer vacation, I feel like I am in the summer of motherhood. And like that little girl, I don't want summer to end.

Summer has felt like the best season of motherhood. Sure, the spring of motherhood was spectacular. I experienced motherly love for the first time and the miraculous growth of my babies to become toddlers. There were so many delectable moments: first smiles, first steps, bear hugs. There were so many moments when I wished I could freeze time and capture the delight, innocence, and charm of my babies.

But like springtime, with it cold days intertwined with perfect days, mothering babies and toddler was exhausting and difficult, at times. There were sleepless nights, fussy eaters, double strollers, and truly terrible twos.

The summer of motherhood is exactly what you’d expect – it is relaxed and calmer and truly amazing. My sons are now ten, eight, and six, and I have experienced so much joy at these ages that I wish I could make time stand still.

Life is easier. My children dress themselves, brush their teeth by themselves, and read themselves to sleep. This summer involved no strollers, no separation anxiety, and no fear of pools and beaches. Instead it involved a myriad of camps where my sons learned, grew, and had fun. This summer included two kid-free weeks when my boys were with my parents and a myriad of weekend adventures.

I watched my six year old son learn to ride a bike. I watched my ten year old son play electric guitar for a Beatles cover band. And I watched my eight year old son learn how to play improv jazz on the piano.

The highlight was a trip to Italy. We saw art, we relaxed in the Tuscan countryside, we enjoyed great food and card games in the evening. I would never dream of going without my children.

Summer has been amazing. So it’s no surprise that I’m starting to feel the pangs of sadness that I felt as a child - that sense of sadness that a wonderful time is ending. But at this point in my life, it’s more than just this summer. I feel pangs of sadness that my summer of motherhood will soon end and I just don't want it to.

Sooner than I think, I will be in the autumn of motherhood. My kids will be teenagers. I suspect they will want to spend less time with me. They may dread family vacations. And they will, no doubt, be sassier.

I feel like a broken record when I say that motherhood just flies by. There are so many moments when I wish I could stop time - keep my kids exactly as they are and never let them change. This is a moment when I really feel that way.

Unfortunately, I have no way to stop time so I am trying my hardest to enjoy every moment that I have during this amazing summer of motherhood.


  1. Beautiful! Looking forward to my own summer, and a good reminder not to take it for granted. (the spring has been pretty nice, itself...thought LOTS Of "cold days" as you say)

  2. Love this post. I really believe that if you consciously make an effort to be present and enjoy and appreciate the good times and the bad, it will lessen the amount of regrets and "should haves" that our darkest moments bring. Here's to beauty in all seasons!

  3. Sounds so lovely and wonderful! I do love 3 as well, but am looking forward to all the things we'll be able to do when my daughter is 6, 8, and 10 too. Really beautiful post.

  4. Your post made me cry! It is so true. My children are now 8, 7, 4, and our summer is just beginning. I want to bask in every moment. I lament the springtime parenting I "lost" to medical training. I have no intention of letting summer pass me by. I will arrange my schedule and my life to make sure that we all get the most out of "summer" - money, promotion, and medical prestige can take a backseat for now, with no regrets!
    Thank you for this. It captures the existentialism of parenting perfectly. Bravo.

  5. I got the free stethoscope from the alumni association in my first year. It was helpful to have (and didn't wander off). I ended up buying my own because the one we got was not the Cardiology III (it sucked). But I think the gesture is more about getting students beholden to the alumni association early so we will fill the need to donate down the road. … At the rates we are being charged they are going to find a lot less loyalty among their alumni/alumnae population, I am betting. … I may donate to the community college that got me half my post-bach classes at something like $1,250 a quarter instead. The education was first rate and the price far more reasonable.


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