My name is Jenny and I am 24. I am a single mother to a beautiful 6 year old and a handsome 5 year old. Their father is not really a part of the picture. I receive no financial support from him and he sees the kids once a week for about 8 hours.
I am a research assistant at an amazing lab and absolutely love research. I have planned on going back to grad school soon. The grad school where I'm located also has a med school and there is a MD/PhD Program. I have always dreamed of going to med school. It was my dream since I was 12. And even when I became a teen parent, I still knew I wanted to go to med school. But I never thought I'd had to go as a single parent, so I've gone a different path which has led me to research. As I start to prepare to apply my heart screams with such a passion that it becomes difficult for me to hold back the tears. Med school is where my dreams are. Research driven physician is where my heart is. It's what I've always wanted. But I'm a mother now and a single mother. The program is ideal because of the stipend. I cannot take 4 years off work to go to med school when I have children. But with a stipend I could get by. And I know I have to apply. Even if I don't get accepted, I have to apply. But if by some miracle I do get accepted would it be right for me to go? I have been in school for the majority of my children's lives. If I was to do the program, my kids would be adults when I finished. My daughter would be 19, my son going on 18. I would have spent my children's entire childhood in school. How is that fair to them? I would be so busy with school there would be no dating, no man to step up and be a step father. It would just be us with me always in school and studying. My kids will be adults. I'll be 37. And eventually that will happen anyways, but how much will we sacrifice if I kept going for my dreams? Isn't the mother supposed to put the child's dreams first? I don't know what to do. I feel either choice I make will break my heart. I would appreciate any feedback.