Dear Mothers in Medicine,
I am a 29 year old single mother of 2 boys, ages 7 and 3. I'm not in medicine as of yet, but about 6 months ago started getting the itch that my calling is to be a Family Practitioner. I'm so glad to have found your site, as I am torn between following my dreams and putting my childrens' needs first. I wonder if anyone has advice - is there any way to do both?
I live near Cleveland, Ohio and moving isn't really an option (to my knowledge) since I am divorced and share the children with the ex 50/50 (I have them every other week). It also might be good to know that my 7 year old has ADHD. Some people consider this to not even be a true condition, I understand, but my child is severe and cannot even attend school without receiving his medication twice daily. I am really the only one who understands him and can give him the love he needs unconditionally. So I am definitely a huge part of his healthy well being. My younger son needs me too, of course, but is very close with his father. So I worry less about my younger son.
Currently I am a Sign Language Interpreter. For the past 11 years, 90% of my work has involved medical settings. So, I've had the opportunity to shadow just about every aspect of the medical field. It has been an amazing experience! And that's where the hunger to become a physician myself began.
I noticed that for just about any other foreign language you can find a doctor with whom to communicate directly, if you look hard enough. In Ohio, however, there apparently are no physicians fluent in American Sign Language whatsoever. Because of my passion for the deaf community, this saddens me. Even with extremely skilled interpreters facilitating doctor/patient communication, I truly feel that some (possibly cruicial) nuances of the language are lost in translation. I want to close that gap in patient care. We really are behind the times in this, as a society.
Other reasons I long to enter medical school: I have a strong passion for the sciences, math, and especially solving mysteries. What better mysteries to solve than those which could save or better someone's life? I was standing outside a patient room in a dermatology office and happened to overhear the conversation between the attending physician and one of the residents there. I immediately saw myself on both sides of the conversation - first as the resident, sharing the information I had gathered from the patient with my attending and gaining confidence in my abilities to correctly diagnose and treat each issue, taking into account the special circumstances of each individual patient. But I could also see myself as the attending physician. I know I would love using the leading questions to help new doctors grow and learn in their profession. I can see myself there, as if it is as close as tomorrow.
Now, I don't know if my background will be a hindrance, as I was home schooled, and only have my Associate's degree so far. I pressed forward and earned my degree from a local community college despite my family's protests. My family is very grass roots and took offense to me wanting to go farther in my education than anyone else in the family ever has. But I did it. I am a very determined individual, so I know I could get through medical school. Afterwards, I would strive to be the very best of physicians by always being willing and ready to learn everything I can - never being satisfied with my current knowledge.
So I guess what it all boils down to is this: Would it be possible for me to be a medical student and a good mother to my two children? I know my life will never feel complete if I don't reach my full potential educationally/vocationally, but I don't want to ignore my childrens' needs either, as my parents did. They should come first.
At first glance it might be easy to say, "Well, its too much if you have children. You'd never see them," and that might be the bottom line. But currently, my income is barely enough to survive. Being a med student would actually increase the funds I have to use throughout the year substantially as compared to working all that I can currently.
So I'm just looking for options and advice. Is there a way in Cleveland to be a part-time med student, perhaps? Or set your own schedule somewhat, since I have every other week without the children?
Thank you so very much for your time and consideration. I truly value any gems of insight you can provide.