I've been reading this blog looking for pearls of advice and wisdom ever since I was accepted to medical school just over a year ago (in Canada). When I interviewed for medical school, I was actually 8 weeks pregnant with my first daughter. I decided to defer for the first year to stay home with my daughter. Now the time has come to decide whether I indeed do go back to school and become a doctor. This situation is complicated, and I need some advice from some women/mothers who have been there.
A little about me: I am a 32-year old (will be 33 after 2 months of school) family nurse practitioner. I have a great job and work with an amazing team, but no I have no flexibility in terms of hours. I have decent pay (but no real opportunity to grow). And the nurse practitioner role is still developing in Canada so there are many other "issues" with the profession as well, including barriers to practice, funding/remuneration issues, and scope of practice limits. Not to mention that most people in Canada don't even know what a nurse practitioner is. When I tell people, they think I am training to be a nurse. That aside, I know I would love a career in medicine. I've been in the healthcare field myself now for over 10 years, and I think I have a pretty good idea and sense of the role. My daughter will be 9.5 months if/when I start school, and I do want/plan to have 1 or 2 more kids.
The situation is complicated because I was accepted in a different city and province from where we live now. My husband is working at his dream job and has NO desire to leave it. He feels (and has been told) that he is on a great trajectory with the company, and has already been promoted a few times in the 2.5 years that he's been with them. There is no office for this particular company in the city we would have to move to. There is no family of either of us in the city that we have to move to (but there isn't now either). We just got into an AWESOME brand new daycare on the campus of my current job (for which I am still on mat leave), but we have to pay the monthly fees as of now in order to hold her spot until I go back to work in October. This is pricey, plus if we end up moving, a huge waste of money. But if we stay, it is super convenient, as I would just have to bring my daughter to work with me and could pop over between patients and see her!
Essentially, it has come to either myself or my husband sacrificing for the other. He has his dream job with great future prospects. I can have my dream job in medicine, but not for another 8-ish years (I would probably specialize). Plus, we will go from a two-income family living a comfortable life, back to going into debt and living a student lifestyle. Also, I don't really know how much time I will have for my kids during all of this training. And is that what is best for them? I really don't know what to do. I feel so guilty about uprooting and making him quit his job if we go. He doesn't have any prospects in the new city as of yet either, which makes it hard for him to visualize being there. I can visualize myself there because I know I would be starting school etc. We have decided that we need to do what is best for our family (daughter and future children). But we can't seem to figure out which path is "best." I wish I had a crystal ball to look into the future and see how each path would turn out. I really really want to go, but he really really wants to stay. We both said we would sacrifice for the other, but that still leaves us with a decision to make, and we are having such a hard time. Any thoughts or advice or wisdom would be MUCH appreciated.