I am a hospitalist with a 3 year old child and a child on the way and I am burnt out after only four years out of residency. The prospect of working sickens me and I want to scream when I receive yet another page from the ER about a patient who needs to be admitted with intractable pain/vomiting/weakness with no diagnosis that they could attain. I am so tired of hearing people's complaints. I feel like I have not made an ounce of difference in anyone's life. I am a scut monkey for most physicians and a substitute doctor for their primary care providers. I no longer get a rush from seeing someone critically ill and helping them become well. To make matters worse, we are short staffed as many other hospitalist programs are with no candidates thus far. I am in the process of looking for a job but cannot find one that will pay me not to work. I wonder on an almost daily basis why I incurred more than $150K of debt to do something that makes me miserable. I have contemplated switching to a clinic job but cringe at the thought of even longer hours....at least in my current position, I am free to come in and leave when I want as long as I finish my work. The prospect of another hospitalist job is less than appealing and doing chart reviews seems like a surrender. I have even wondered what things would be like if I had trained in a different specialty. Would things be different? Would I be more satisfied with my job? My husband is a graduate student and thus the option not to work is not realistic at this point. What can I do? How do I overcome this overwhelming sense of disappointment and dread for my life's work? All my life, I wanted to be a doctor and now I'm here and just want to stay home and play with my child.