I'm a pediatric intern, wife, and mother to a wonderful 3-year-old daughter. My daughter was born the summer between M1 and M2 year of medical school. I originally thought I might spread the M2 year out into two years, but ended up powering through and graduating on time. In retrospect, everything worked out fine although it seemed hard at the time. I managed to breastfeed her/pump for her first 18 months of life and relished in the flexibility of my M4 schedule to spend lots of time with her. I have a wonderfully supportive husband who works from home and does essentially all the day care drop-offs/pick-ups, middle of the night bed sheet changes when she wets the bed, bath time on evenings I'm working late, most of the household cleaning, etc. We are in a new city for residency. We left a setting with more extended support for one with some but significantly less extended family support in the area.
are thinking about having baby #2 (have been thinking about it for
quite a while)…but I'm scared. We want to have a second child and I'm
kind of wishing we had just had #2 during my M4 year and have been done
with it. The pregnancy itself scares me. I remember being sooo tired
while pregnant as a med student and can't fathom being that tired while
working 13-hour intern shifts (or 26 hour senior resident shifts). There
are days when I don't have an opportunity to pee the entire day--how
does a pregnant resident who has to pee every hour handle that? What if I
get nauseous from morning sickness on morning rounds? I'm terrified of
the new-mommy fatigue on top of resident-fatigue. And is it actually
feasible to pump as a resident? While in medical school, I could
lecture-capture from home while pumping and call in sick in childcare
emergency situations, I know I won't have those luxuries in residency.
I'm also scared of stirring the pot with my daughter, whose world would
be turned upside down with a new baby sib and that added element of
stress of having a regressing toddler in the mix.
I don't want
to wait until after residency to have #2 because my daughter is already
three years old and don't want there to be too large of an age gap. Any
words of encouragement or advice on when to have baby #2 and how to get
through the transition? Are my fears well-based, or should we just take
Wanting to grow my family,