I'm looking for some words of encouragement and/or advice. Match Day was not a happy one here and I am suddenly struggling with the prospect of long distance motherhood.
As a bit of background, I am a single mom of two adolescents. We currently live in an area where my kids have a strong social and family network. The kids' dad is in the picture and while he has a spotty track record, he's good to the kids.
I applied to a moderately competitive specialty and tortured myself enough to apply in another specialty as back up. Originally, I was going to rank the local programs in my specialty followed by the local back up programs. I realized after interviewing, however, that I really really did not like my back up and it was really not for me. I decided to follow my heart and rank my specialty first all the way. I felt that I had a reasonable chance matching in my area. Well, of course you never know with the match.
Now reality is here. I'm moving. My kids' dad wants them to stay. The kids want to stay. Both sets of grandparents are here. This is their community. I am going to be working my butt off and don't have much support where I am going. The place is an hour plane ride away. My heart is so torn. I would love to take them with me but if I take a step back, I know that would be selfish - not to mention it would cause a huge custody issue.
I am constantly reliving things - should I have framed my application differently? Should I have ranked programs differently? Should I have just sucked it up and ranked my back up higher? A lot of people around me have been giving me the "I told you so" in various forms. My gut feeling is that my program actually fits me very well. It makes a lot of sense that I matched there, geography aside. Still, I can't shake how much I've sacrificed for medicine.
In the end, the match is a contract and I am going - at least for the year, if not the next several years. I have a lot of figuring out to do. Anyone else have advice or had experience in how to be a long distance mom?
Thanks very much,