I watched a child die. Literally. Took his last breath in front of me. It wasn't an unexpected death, but nonetheless, still very sad. What do you say when your partner says "How was your day at the office honey"? What do you say? How many of you share your bad days with your spouse? If you don't, how do you assimilate what you deal with into your life? Life went on that day, as it has to, after his death. Yet, I couldn't help but think the universe should have stopped in some way, briefly, to mark his passing. A leaf should fall, or the world should go quiet for 60 seconds. We lost a child. Our community lost a child. We lost the promise of his life, the contribution he could have made to our society. What would his life have looked like? The impact of watching life slip away was huge, on all the staff, as well as the family. I found myself wondering, watching his mom stroking his arm just before he died, how do you comprehend that this evening, your child will not be with you? That your family will go from 5 to 4. How do you tell his siblings that he died? I watched my colleague go straight from his death to a mundane meeting, wondering how is it that life goes on after this little boy has just died? I know it must, as mine did, and I know that the family's loss is not mine. My children are safe and well. So, my question is, how much do you share with your partner and your friends? Do you have people in your life that you can share your sadness with, or do you have to deal with this on your own? Not being able to debrief because you need to protect others is a lonely business. Are we destined to cope alone, because we chose this path?
- I live in the South, currently working part time in pediatrics. I am happily
married, with two healthy gorgeous babes. I stumbled across MIM a few months ago and have been following it
avidly since, as it helps me to deal with some of the issues I face,
being a working mother in medicine.