I am a 2nd year Peds resident in a grueling program, and I have 10 month old baby. N'er the twain shall meet. But they did and they are, and that is why I am burnt out. I am a zombie from sleep deprivation; being on call q 1 is beyond my capabilities. And my heart isn't in the residency program like it was a few short 11 months ago, but once my son was born all I want to do is be a mom. I don't think I want to be a doctor anymore, but I can't decipher between not wanting to be a resident anymore vs not wanting to be a doctor anymore. Oh, and I'm 300k in debt. So I can't quit. But I want to. I'm away from my son so much sometimes I forget what he feels like.
I'm hanging on here but the thread is stretching thin. I envision, mostly when I'm post-call like I am today, walking into the program directors office and saying, "I quit." It feels good.
Anyone been in this predicament? Any suggestions? I love this online community and often read it while at work or right before going to bed to check in with all you fabulous other women doing the combo of medicine and parenthood.