Sunday, August 12, 2012

It's been a while


It’s been a while since he died.   

And yet…   

He is with me daily as I see him in my children, in my own interactions (when I’m at my best), in how I organize myself, in how I enjoy life, still.  

A marker of time passing.  I have now been alive for longer without my father (alive) than with him (alive).  

He did not live to see me in medicine, as a mother, married, making my way.  

And yet…

As a feminist father, back in the day, he helped me know I could be who and what I wanted to be. He was a kind and patient person, who listened, who cared.  Like everything you would want in a doctor, though he was not in medicine himself.  Like everything you’d want in a father of a mother in medicine.

Did I tell him thank you?  I can't remember.  I hope so.

5 comments:

  1. this is beautiful, thank you for sharing.

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  2. Agree, this is beautiful. I know he would be/is so proud of his daughter and all she is today.

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  3. I appreciate your support here in this community Cutter, and also in real life KC.

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  4. Beautifully written. I lost my dad almost 8 years ago. It was unexpected. He never met my now husband. He never saw my start and now almost be finished with medical school. He never got to hold my sweet baby girl and rock her on his lap. She would have adored him. I hope he knows how much I love him. I, too, don't know if I thanked him enough.

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  5. We can only imagine what our dads would have been like as grandfathers, as father-in-laws, and more. And on the other hand, we get the opportunity to imagine, and we have our memories, and live on as they would want us too. Thanks for the comment, lukogirl. He knew. He knows.

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