Saturday, June 23, 2012

Last day


I’ve half drafted about 4-5 entries that still are unfinished in my MiM folder.  I definitely plan to eventually post the ones about my journey as daughter and doctor dealing with my mom’s recent breast cancer diagnosis.  It has been a difficult, emotional, strengthening, family building, strange, roller coaster of an experience.  So far, things are going well.  However, I’m writing just a short entry today.  Today is my last day of “freedom.”

Tomorrow I’m back in the hospital, a resident again after my two year lab hiatus.  I start off as transplant chief.  I am completely terrified and completely excited. My life has changed so much in these two years. My special necklace with a pearl and my daughters name on it just arrived from Etsy yesterday.  I love my beautiful girl so much!!  I hope I’m doing the right thing.  I’m completely motivated to make her proud.  My life these two years has been a roller coaster of emotions.  I’ve gone from loving my anesthesiologist who put in my epidural so much that I was convinced anesthesia was my new calling.  Then I was convinced that I must find a way to be a stay at home mom - otherwise I thought my life would be impossible to balance.  But, now the hormones are fading, the Zoloft is working (prob TMI - but you’ll hear more about that if I ever post the post-partum depression entry I wrote), and I’m amped up to be a surgeon.  Two years of cancer research has given me some clarity.  I feel confident that I want to be a breast surgeon (also one of the entries on file).  So, I have 3 more years to get as much out of all the other amazing types of surgery that I also love.

Wish me luck!

Cutter

4 comments:

  1. Sending good thoughts your way! I love that, in medicine, it's the height of summer that represents a new chapter for so many of us, just as flowers are blooming and everything is so vibrant and green. Much better environment than Jan 1, and more daylight, too :)

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  2. Luck!

    And I'd love for you to post about your PPD experience. I don't think it is TMI at all to talk about it. We need more transparency and some success stories!

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  3. Larissa, I will definitely try and post it. The main reason I want to post it is for transparency. I knew what was going on, and once I was getting better and more open about it, I realized that some of my friends realized something was wrong/knew what was going on. It needs to be less taboo. I'm surrounded my doctors, nurses, and various other health professionals all the time and although I tried to hide it, in retrospect - I WAS A MESS!!! But, no one wanted to say anything.

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  4. Good luck! Sounds like a new and exciting change. I just started residency myself, so we're kind of in the same boat with new beginnings. Love following your blog by the way.

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