Saturday, June 23, 2012
I’ve half drafted about 4-5 entries that still are unfinished in my MiM folder. I definitely plan to eventually post the ones about my journey as daughter and doctor dealing with my mom’s recent breast cancer diagnosis. It has been a difficult, emotional, strengthening, family building, strange, roller coaster of an experience. So far, things are going well. However, I’m writing just a short entry today. Today is my last day of “freedom.”
Tomorrow I’m back in the hospital, a resident again after my two year lab hiatus. I start off as transplant chief. I am completely terrified and completely excited. My life has changed so much in these two years. My special necklace with a pearl and my daughters name on it just arrived from Etsy yesterday. I love my beautiful girl so much!! I hope I’m doing the right thing. I’m completely motivated to make her proud. My life these two years has been a roller coaster of emotions. I’ve gone from loving my anesthesiologist who put in my epidural so much that I was convinced anesthesia was my new calling. Then I was convinced that I must find a way to be a stay at home mom - otherwise I thought my life would be impossible to balance. But, now the hormones are fading, the Zoloft is working (prob TMI - but you’ll hear more about that if I ever post the post-partum depression entry I wrote), and I’m amped up to be a surgeon. Two years of cancer research has given me some clarity. I feel confident that I want to be a breast surgeon (also one of the entries on file). So, I have 3 more years to get as much out of all the other amazing types of surgery that I also love.
Wish me luck!