Life has a funny way of reminding you daily that you are not in charge. You walk into work after a full night's sleep, thanks to my ear plugs because hubby snores. (Don't tell him I told you!) My energy is positive and I am ready to conquer the day. Then I proceed to look through the files of the patients on my schedule and then I realize there are a few chronic pain patients, crabby COPD patient with new CHF that refuses to go to a specialist, and on and on it goes. I feel the wind go out of my sails and I lean back in my chair trying to decide how to move my mood to a more positive state. Then I take a little mental mini vacay to a winning lottery ticket. Yep, it works every time.
Then after an exhausting day at work, going home to make dinner, started and folded more laundry, discussed the day with the family as we played "Apples to Apples" (Fun game if you have older kiddos.) I soon realized that I really am very vulnerable to my circumstances. Dealing with difficult patients...frustration and fatigue sets in...fun game with the family...happiness and energy abounds. Geez, this is sad realization my mood is so easily shifted. Maybe it is hormonal or maybe I just don't like not being in control...ahh...that is it.
I am a control freak. Yes, type A personality to the core. See when I go on my mental vacations I am in control and decide my fate. In real life, not so much. Not sure how turned into this over the years. Certainly not genetic as my mom is a peace maker and sweetheart and my biological dad never stuck around to change or be in control of anything.
I guess when I figure out how to solve this little personality disorder I will probably become a wealthy person. Any thoughts?