Monday, July 5, 2010

Guilty Pleasures

OK. So divorce sucks. But there are some good things. Yes, I miss my kids this July 4th holiday weekend - can't remember having one without them. They are at the beach with their dad. Crabbing and having a good old time. Luckily their dad's cousins are posting mobile uploads on FB, so I am getting to see them, and talking to them on the phone.

Guilty pleasures:

1. Walking around the house, kidless, in my underwear until noon.

2. Brunching and shopping with my mentor Dr. Styles - gifting lunch and being gifted wine and facial products.

3. Exercising whenever the hell I want, at my leisure. And I need to exercise, cause the food/parties are over the top indulgent.

4. Finished the second season of Breaking Bad last night after wandering across my street to watch the firework show downtown on the river with my neighbors (we have a nice view through a clearing in the woods). When your kids are away, life degenerates to college days. Watching TV until way past midnight. Making nachos at 11:00 p.m. It gets quite ridiculous, knowing you won't be up at the crack of dawn cooking eggs and making cinnamon rolls -you find all kinds of rationalizations for one more episode. Thank goodness I have work to get me back up on Tuesday.

5. My spotted king snake, Spotty Dangerous, has become an important source of emotional nourishment, during this time. He also likes Breaking Bad. And the new blue light I bought him for night time. He crawls around on my hand while I wander about the house. I'm glad I got him in the split. Dog, schmog. The importance of mammals is way overrated.

6. You all have kids, right? When is the last time you have taken a long, uninterrupted shower? Ha! I guessed right. Not in the last few years. It's quite nice.

7. That string bikini I bought through Victoria's Secret last year? The one I've been afraid to wear because it might not hold up in the pool while I was: Playing categories, riding the airplane/crocodile floats, and having pool races with my kids? Well, it's safe when the kids are gone. I can just read my novel on a raft to my heart's content and relax in the knowledge that my 5 year old isn't around to accidentally pull those strings. (Yes, I am only brave enough to wear it at my mom and dad's pool with no one else around, and I think there is more of me that is tan than there has been in 10 years).

8. Zoning out on the floor of the bathroom and cleaning drawers. That hand cream I saved from that Arbonne party from ten years ago? The stretch mark prevention cream I bought for long ago pregnancies that I forgot to apply? The stretch mark reducing cream I bought after pregnancies that I applied maybe once when the box recommends a strict routine (who can stick to a strict routine when taking care of a two year old and nursing a newborn?)? The feminine hygiene products I have not needed since I got my IUD four years ago (what am I waiting for, Sicily's first menarche? Doesn't she deserve a new box of tampons/pads for that? Scary to think that will actually be coming up in 4-6 years). Just chunk it.

9. Having uninterrupted conversations at extended family and friend holiday gatherings.

10. Heading to an adult movie tonight with my good friends (histotech and gross room assistant) from work.

Yeah, divorce is tough. But I'd be remiss to not revel in the good stuff. The alone time. The facial time. The movie time. The coffee time. The wine time. The not being a mother time is oh so much sweeter when you are one. Hope everyone else is having a wonderful holiday weekend, with lots of independence!


  1. Oh, yes! Joint custody, while being depressing at times, definitely has its benefits. For me, it includes sleeping in, staying up, and walking around in my underwear. No string bikinis for me, however!

  2. Aw, come on, with no one else around? Soaking up the sun? I highly recommend.

  3. I have never been divorced, but I always secretly thought of the benefit of "my weekend off" was a fantasy of mine. Now my kids are nearly grown and there are actually times when I am home alone or even alone with my husband...yes!

  4. When the kids were young enough that our nanny was still around, I'd sometimes sneak away from the hospital early for some retail therapy - browsing to my heart's content, just looking - but without someone pulling on my leg and whining "Can we gooooo now?" I think we forget how recharged we can get when we have some time away . . .

  5. Now it's Tuesday, and they don't come home until Saturday, and I'm missing them! But they are having a blast at the beach, so that is good.

    Recharging is nice. After not having alone time for many years, I am indulging myself a little. And I can see that it makes me a better mom when my kids are around. I think recharging is very important, no matter what kind of relationship situation you are in (and I know it is probably tough for you to get it, Artemis!).

  6. We sent the kids to my mom's for the 4th, so we could go out with friends and be adults for the evening. It was nice...and needed.

    I totally see how these perks could lessen the suck-itude and give you a chance to recharge now and then.


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