The natural consequence of toting such a massive purse is that things go in and they never come out. It's also the cause of me not being able to find my keys floating around in all the debris --I once lost a pair of sunglasses in there for an entire week. It's also becoming heavier and heavier (but imperceptibly so on a day-to-day basis) from the constant accumulation. I'm waiting for my pinched nerve to develop.
The natural benefit is that, if stranded in the wilderness, I could probably survive the longest among other-small-pursed women from the sheer raw materials a la MacGyver.
I thought of this today as my hand blindly searched the cavernous innards of my purse, looking for my pager (yes, amazingly, I still have to carry one of those), and wondered if my purse (or contents thereof) was just an idiosyncratic collection of me or a sign of my profession (physician), my role in life (MiM) or perhaps my specialty (internal medicine).
So, I took an inventory and found the following (please don't laugh or judge):
- epi-pen (for me, but not afraid to use it, if necessary, on anyone who needs it.)
- 5 tubes of lipstick/lipgloss
- pink emery board that reads "Mad Housewife"
- a sticker that reads "I voted" in English and Spanish (could this be from the last presidential elections???)
- remote slide advancer
- office keys
- 3 travel-sized body lotions that appear to have been appropriated from 3 different hotels
- ipod nano
- flash drive
- sample of dental products given to me by my dentist at dentist visit 3 months ago, still in bag
- bead necklace made by 5-yr old daughter that I wore to work one day because I promised her
- feminine hygiene products
- tin of Wine Wipes ('wipe that wine off your smile')
- gum, free-floating and also in a package
- a rock from the beach vacation
- small sand dollar, see above
- toy gold medal from a gymnastics "ceremony"
- business card holder
- prescription bottle with 1 lone spare zyrtec
- a lone nickel
- 2 individual free-floating "fruit snacks"*
- 1 cookies and cream candy egg*
- business card from guy who hit on me in the security line at the airport (politely took it then stuffed it in the bottom of my purse.)*
Okay. Your turn.