Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Fourth Law of Mommodynamics

For years now, I have lived by the laws of Mommodynamics:
1. Energy is finite.
2. Clutter, like entropy, tends towards an infinite maximum.
3. Matter is neither created nor distroyed, it is merely misplaced.

Now, to my amazement, I recognize a fourth law has been operating all along, behind the other three: the law of conservation of clutter. This law requires that every time I find a lost object, an object of equal importance will go missing. This weekend it was my watch, which turned up under some papers on a countertop, and my cell phone, which instantly disappeared from my coat pocket. I have noticed the same sly switching going on with my faculty id and my drivers licence, my ward key and my office key, my metropass and my credit card--whenever I have one of these ready to hand, the other one slips off into the shadows for a giggle and a rest. After a frantic search which rivalled the rummaging of a cocaine addict in search of a fix, I just found the missing cell phone, under a potholder in the kitchen. I can hardly rejoice--lord knows what has just gone missing in its place!


  1. Exactly how did you get into my house? Funny and so true! Thanks for sharing.

  2. I thought it was just me. Phew!!!! :)

  3. Have you noticed that the crazier the day is, the rougher this problem becomes? On Saturday, I had a frustrating search with my daughter for 6 year old swim team gear. We went to four stores, with no luck. When we finally stopped to buy her friend a birthday present for a party the next weekend, I was so frazzled I spent thirty minutes looking for my wallet and my phone.

    My pager does this to me, too. I swear I can find my pager most of the time, except when my son chooses to throw a maximum tantrum before school, or when I start a week of call (like tomorrow - I'd better start looking now), and cannot just inform the OR's to use my cell instead (because when you are on clinical call, everyone needs to be able to find you - lab, clinicians for apheresis emergencies, etc.).

    You are so good with laws - maybe you can help me come up with one for that!

    I FINALLY found swim gear tonight on the fifth try:)

  4. I think I have to call my cell phone number from a different phone at least once per week to locate it. At least.

  5. I ADORE this! These laws definitely hold true in our house. I am going to make a copy of these laws for my refrigerator door tonight!! Thanks for the great laugh...


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