Thursday, December 24, 2009

Not Feeling It

It's Christmas Eve, and I'm not feeling it.

The house is decorated, the stockings filled. We baked and decorated sugar cookies. I made hot cocoa as a special bedtime treat. Thanks to the blizzard, there is snow on the ground for the first time in our city since 1962.

We celebrate not just Santa but also the birth of baby Jesus in our house.

But I'm not feeling it. Is it because we are so busy these days? Is it because I can't get my patients out of my brain?

God, I hope I'm able to see "it" in my son's face tomorrow.

7 comments:

  1. As someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas, I don't know if you'll see "it" in your son's face tomorrow, but I wish for you that seeing your son's face itself will be it! Really seeing him for the miraculous being and family unit that you are together. I wish you health, happiness, and togetherness.

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  2. Me too! See it. Feel it. It's about Santa. And Jesus. And all the other religious icons. And your patients. In you, and your son. All of your family. You may not feel it, but I can see that you really do.

    I am waiting for my daughter to fall asleep, so I can play Santa. My son is out. She is reading a chapter book. Hard to get mad at her, cause I remember how hard it was to fall asleep on Christmas Eve.

    Merry Christmas! Polar Express - right? Hear the bells. Believe.

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  3. I don't know how to do it ... but sometimes it's just hard at the holidays. While mental health agencies have been telling us for decades that it's the most likely time for suicide ...we as a society don't listen. We put on plastic smiles and act perky and put away our pain and our angst because "it's the season" and we don't want to bring others down ...but when it becomes ok to have pain, to be down, to know that life isn't all jolly ...then maybe the heavy depression that so many feel and so few are allowed to express ... will not be so overwhelming because it will be ok to say "hug me, my heart aches today"

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  4. I dont understand how you could not appreciate Christms and at the same time appreciate
    someone who does. Christmas comes every day or else it does not come at all
    Ockie

    ReplyDelete
  5. I dont understand how you could not appreciate Christms and at the same time appreciate
    someone who does. Christmas comes every day or else it does not come at all
    Ockie

    ReplyDelete
  6. I dont understand how you could not appreciate Christms and at the same time appreciate
    someone who does. Christmas comes every day or else it does not come at all
    Ockie

    ReplyDelete
  7. I dont understand how you could not appreciate Christms and at the same time appreciate
    someone who does. Christmas comes every day or else it does not come at all
    Ockie

    ReplyDelete

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