Q: Dr. Fizzy, would you like to get the H1N1 vaccine?
A: Yes, I very much would. I would also like to live in a giant house and go to a spa every day. What I want and the reality differ somewhat.
Q: Is the H1N1 vaccine mandatory at your hospital?
A: No. Not only is it not mandatory, but it is not even available. I waited on line for over an hour to get my seasonal flu vaccine, but I don't even have that opportunity right now for H1N1. Someone on this very blog commented to me that I was a high priority group and it was my duty to get that vaccine ASAP. Well, my left deltoid and/or nasal passages are ready to receive it. Where is it? ("In my arm" is neither a nice nor helpful answer.)
Q: Are you worried about the impact of the H1N1 virus?
A: Uh, yeah. My own state seems to be one of the few not as hard hit, but in the blogosphere, physicians keep commenting about flu tents and all the formerly healthy kids in the PICU, which I obviously just love hearing about. This is always followed by the ominous comment, "Did you get your flu shot yet?" Apparently, in some places, it's easier to get this vaccine than in others. If I had any way of getting this vaccine, believe me, I would. Right now, you may as well criticize me for not being six feet tall. Can you tell I'm frustrated?
Q: Are you going to get the H1N1 vaccine for your child?
A: Up until a day ago, the pediatrician's office's website had a message up that said, "YOU CRAZY PARENTS STOP CALLING ABOUT THE SWINE FLU VACCINE! WE DON'T HAVE IT!!" (or some paraphrasing of that) Now it says that they have limited supplies only available for kids with less than five neutrophils in their body or something. So yes, I plan to get it for my child, but not this week, I don't think.
Q: Do you believe that the H1N1 vaccine causes autism, cancer, lupus, or HIV?
A: No, but I'm fairly sure it causes genital warts. So watch out!!