When I realized that this was to be my 50th post on this blog, I decided I want to make it good. (Not my usual crap, right?) I asked around for advice and got some suggestions that were good, possibly topics for future posts, but didn't quite have the WOW! factor I wanted. I wanted to make a post that was not just interesting, but.... SHOCKING.
So here goes:
When I joined this blog back in its infancy, one year ago, I had an ulterior motive. The truth was that I felt that going into medicine was a huge mistake for any woman who wanted to become a mother. And I was determined to share that opinion.
Anyone who has read some of my earlier posts would know that I came dangerously close to blurting out that opinion on several occasions, but I always just barely stopped short and ended with some cheesy phrase like, "But it's all worth it." I didn't say what I truly felt because I was scared. I knew this opinion would not be popular. Nobody wants to hear that a woman shouldn't follow her career aspirations just because she wants to have a family. And moreover, I was embarrassed to admit that after seven grueling years of training and 100's of thousands of dollars in tuition, I had major regrets. But I felt that it was important and needed to be said.
(Maybe that's why I've written so much. I'm like the guy who buys twenty unneeded items at the newsstand, hoping the one issue of Playboy goes unnoticed.)
A year later, I still haven't made a definitive post warning mothers-to-be not to go into medicine. But not because I'm chicken anymore; it's because reading these entries over the course of the year has actually changed my mind. Hearing about all these female physicians (both the bloggers and the commenters) who love being mothers in medicine has inspired me. I'm changed. If you guys love it, then I'm optimistic that I can too. Maybe I'm just giddy about graduating residency, but I no longer feel a dire need to tell young female pre-meds to run before it's too late.
So I guess for my 50th post, I'd like to say thanks. Thanks to everyone who posted or commented about how being a physician mama is a gift that only a few of us get to experience. I needed that.