Saturday, August 30, 2008

Four Months

I came back to residency from my maternity leave when Melly was two months old. By the time she was four months old, I had gotten the hang of things, but it was still rough. Sleep was a frequent issue and between taking care of her and doing night call for work, I was constantly tired. I wrote this one night:

Melly seems to have developed severe separation anxiety in the past week. Leaving her for 5 seconds, or even just putting her in a bassinet, makes her cry. She's cried herself to sleep the past 4 or 5 nights because no matter how late I stay up with her she never wants to be left in her crib alone. I feel terrible.

I was also breastfeeding, so my entire existence seemed to revolve around the boobs. I was always looking for an opportunity to sneak off with my pump. By the end of the day, I was nearly desperate to get home so that I could be "emptied out". It was all I could think about, aside from her tiny little face.

As wonderful as that time was, new baby and all, it was very hard. Very very hard. I felt like I was being pushed to the edge of my limits, keeping things together only by some miracle. But yesterday I realized that as difficult as it was for me when she was four months old, it could have been worse.

At least I wasn't running for Vice President of the United States.

(Or is residency harder?)

7 comments:

  1. This could be our next topic day!
    I was actually going to suggest that we keep our blog away from politics... but this whole issue is way too juicy.

    Personally I think the idea is fabulous

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  2. I was trying not to be "political" in my entry exactly because it IS so controversial. But when I think back to when my baby was 4 months old... I don't think I would have been up for campaigning for presidency back then :)

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  3. Pfff....I think residency is harder. (although I'm a nurse, so what do I know...)

    Keep in mind, she has an 18-year-old daughter (and probably a nanny or two) who I guarantee is doing most of the child care, since Ms. Palin was back at work three days after giving birth to her special-needs child.

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  4. I find it laughable that writers on this blog would question Gov. Palin's decision to continue her career after having a baby at age 44.

    If politics is too touchy for you, Ladies, have a look at a documentary just out on dvd titled "The Business of Birthing". I'd be interested in opinions on this topic by Mothers in Medicine.

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  5. Can I ask why make her cry herself to sleep? Why not co-sleep with her so she could nurse on demand during the night and still meet her emotional needs? It may well have eased her separation anxiety. Many babies go through a period or reverse cycling, through the 4-6 month age, and it's easiest for mom and baby if you worth with them through it.

    I don't doubt sleep is of utmost importance when in residency, but meeting both of your needs seems beneficial to you both.

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  6. Politics is hell!!! Running for office is mentally, physically and emotionally draining. A good friend of mine ran for mayoral position in a medium sized city (250,000 population), and he average one hour of sleep per night, for a year straight! It's a combination of medical school and residency at once. You must learn all knowledge instantly and be willing to restate it, and act upon immediately. And, if the election did not turn out right, you can lose your home, family and other goods in a heartbeat. Sorry there is no political malpractice coverage. By the way my friend lost, and his life has been ruined. Unlike residency, politics is very brutal via rumors and backbiting.

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  7. Amanda: she was 4 months over a year ago, so I don't really need advice on the matter anymore, but co-sleeping didn't work for us.

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